I’d like to share a poem I recently discovered that’s made an impact on my life: ”I Know Something Good About You.” Wouldn’t this old world be better, If the folks we meet would say,“I know something good about you!”And then treat us just that way? Wouldn’t it be fine and dandy, If each kiss was tender and true, And carried with it this message,“I know something good about you!” Wouldn’t life be lots more happy, If the good that’s in us all, Was the only thing about us That people bothered to recall?
Wouldn’t it be nice to practice That fine way of thinking too?You know something good about me And I know something good about you Author Unknown I was working with a client last week who wasreally struggling with a breathing issue. We physically worked with her diaphragm and lungs. But the core issue that was creating this challenge turned out to be a moment in her life from back in 4th grade. In a nutshell, it was about changing schools and feeling judged by the other girls at her new school.
What the client discovered with a little bit of honesty and looking inward was that she was actually the one judging the other girls as a way to protect herself from how she was feeling inside; from her perceived rejection. And this pattern had carried on into adulthood. So as she became aware of the issue her tissues opened up and unwound and she also opened up to a new way of looking at the situation, she decided she was going to create a new way of being with people. This reminded me of the message in the poem. “You know something good about me and I know something good about you.” She chose something like this as her new motto- to find the good in all people. What do you think it will be like now when she connects with people from this place? From a place of openness and curiosity? Let’s face it. We all do it. We all judge others. But next time you catch yourself doing it, I invite you to say the mantra, “I know something good about you.” And watch how the interaction changes.
February 3rd, 2009
I just got introduced to a fascinating study from the early 1980’s that may help us answer the question.
Dr. Kenneth Pelletier and a team from the University of California at San Francisco looked at top executives at Bank of America and AT&T to learn the effects of high stress when these businesses experienced extreme changes.
About 20% of employees became ill during this stressful period. And 5% of the 20% actually died.
However, they also found a number of people who made it through the experience in good health and even thrived.
Among the “thrivers”, they found 14 common factors. The thrivers…
1) Saw life as a challenge to be met rather than a problem, threat or nightmare
2) Were committed to action: taking risks, getting involved. They also had an internal committment to their values and did not let go of commitments to family or exercise.
3) Felt like they had more control over their experience.
4) Had both social support at home and at work.
5) Recognized the value in relaxing on a regular basis.
6) Had some sort of exercise program.
7) Tended to eat breakfast.
Were more conscious of what they ate throughout their day.
9) Kept regular eating patterns during increased stress.
10) Took vitamin supplements.
11) Did not use more alcohol under stress.
12) Most never smoked or had quit.
13) Maintained their regular sleep habits.
14) Used humor toward themselves and enjoyed telling stories.
So what can we learn from this study and how can we apply it to our own lives?
What I learned is that Attitude and how we treat ourselves is such an important factor in determining health. And with this we do have a CHOICE.
Here are some questions for you to consider…
How do I meet challenges? How do I deal with problems? What do I do when life gets too stressful? Do I have support in my life? Do my eating habits support me psychologically to handle stress? Do I take life too seriously?
Join the thrivers- and sail through times of stress with your life intact.
March 30th, 2008
I got this great email the other day that I thought was so fabulous I wanted to share it with you.
A lecturer was explaining stress management to his audience. He raised a glass of water and asked, “How heavy is this glass of water?” Answers called out ranged between 20g and 500g.
He replied,” The absolute weight of the glass doesn’t matter. It depends on how long you try to hold the glass.”
If you hold it for one minute, that’s not a problem.
If you hold it for an hour, your arm might ache a little.
If you hold it for a whole day, you will have to go to the hospital.
In each case, it is the same weight, but the longer you hold it, the heavier it becomes.
And that is how STRESS affects your body. It accumulates over time.
If we carry our burdens around all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy; we won’t be able to carry on.
And that is how we get sick and dis-ease happens in our body. It is our bodies signal to stop and check out what is going on.
As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again.
When we are refreshed, we can carry on with the burden.
So what are you carrying around with you that is a burden and causing stress and tension in your life?
When you have identified some things, I invite you to take a break. Put down the things you have no control over. A lot of times, just taking the break will make room for new possibilities and new ways of looking at the issue.
March 1st, 2008
With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, we’re busy picking up gifts for our children, our husbands, our parents, our sweethearts, even our friends.
But have you ever thought about giving yourself the gift of self love?
As women, we are all to often taught that a Prince is going to sweep us off our feet and we’ll live happily ever after. Then when we do fall in love, we expect those first romantic feelings to last forever.
We think we know what love should look like and what our partners should say and do to show us how much they care.
Boy, do we end up disappointed.
What I’ve come to realize is that we don’t even really know what we want and need for ourselve, and yet we expect our loved ones to know. The truth is, loving yourself is the root of loving others.
When we truly know ourselves and can accept ourselves fully and completely, then we’re more fully able to love others.
Here’s a question to ask yourself: Do you extend as much kindness, compassion and forgiveness to yourself as you do to others?
You wouldn’t dream of not feeding your children or not putting them to bed when they are tired, or telling them how stupid they are when they make a mistake.
So this Valentine’s Day, I invite you to look at how you treat yourself. Then come up with some ways to really nourish and nurture youself. Self-nurturing takes less time and money than you think. And it will pay back big in many ways the more you do it.
It may be spending time alone, changing your self talk, learning to love your body, going shopping or spending time with your friends, journaling, reading, exercising, learning something new. I’m sure you can come up with even more on your own.
In the meantime, I’d love to hear ways that you enjoy nourishing and nurturing yourself. The more ideas we generate together, the more powerful and loving we all become.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
February 1st, 2008
Happy New Year!
I know everyone has their own New Year’s resolutions to focus on. Well mine is to spend more time focusing on my own self-care. This includes ways to nurture myself not only physically but emotionally and spiritually as well.
Before vacation, I had an interesting, eye opening experience related to self care. One of my clients came in and said that she was constantly zapped of energy and she didn’t know what else she could possibly be doing for herself. She was exercising, eating healthy, going for acupuncture and coming to see me for CranioSacral Therapy.
As we worked, we uncovered the core issue: She was always beating herself up with a critical, judgemental attitude about herself. Now from a place of understanding the issue, we were able to explore what it would be like to change the way she was being with herself.
We talked about what it would be like to find a place of love, encouragement and even celebration for who she is and what she does get accomplished.
Wow, wast his enlightening for both of us! We often think of self-care as taking care of ourselves physicaly. Yet the kindest way to nurture ourselves is to be our own best friend-our own number 1 fan.
So in addition to cleaning out your refrigerator or clutter this January, I challenge you to clean out your mind. Notice how often your critical thoughts and judgements come up.
Maybe your’ll notic a pattern or theme around your thoughts. Then you can replace it with a positive affirmation or thought instead!
January 6th, 2008
People generally take better care of their cars than they do their bodies. I’m always amazed at the grocery store when I see what people buy. Some baskets have NOTHING that is actually food. Nothing that is fresh or whole instead of processed or pakaged pretty.
I am not a nutritionist by any means, but over the years I have learned a lot about how to fuel my body for feeling and performing best. I’m lucky to have a few friends who are experts on the topic, and I’ve read a lot of books.
But the best information I ever got was from actually trying new foods, cutting down on others and then listening to my body and seeing how I felt.
Here is what I have learned about my body:
>Wheat and gluten are a big no-no. I feel the effects instantly.
>I like to start the day with fruit and then have protein for lunch.
>I’ve learned to crave fruits and vegetables and drink lots of water.
>I actually need and crave meat.
>I still have the sugar addiction but limit it to one time a day or every few days.
>When I eat sugar, I try to enjoyit rather than feel guilty about it.
> I tend to eat when I am stressed.
The list goes on and on. It took some time to figure out what works best for me. And I’m far from perfect at it. It’s a learning experience that takes dedication to staying conscious and changing my habits.
Why not try this concept on and see how it fits for you? There’s so much information out there. Start by sifting through it to get a feel for what is the perfect approach for you.
Then I invite you to become conscious, begin pre-planning and try different things to see what actually works best for you!
November 2nd, 2007
I love watching my 2-year-old play. She plays with such CURIOSITY. How does this work and what happens when I change it or try it this way? How will mom respond when I do this? Curiosity leads to discovery, uncovering answers and drawing out insights.
As we grow up, we seem to lose some of that curiosity. We become conditioned to need to know all the answers or to try to control things.
I’ve been practicing and receiving CranioSacral Therapy long enough to know that any work I do on the table is only being brought into my awareness to enhance my life or move me forward in my process. If I remain curious about what comes up in my sessions and know that it’s being shown to me in order to gain greater insight, it allows me to uncover those dark places easier and with less fear.
So my message for this month is to try on CURIOSITY and see what opens up for you, and how it might deepen your perspective on life. You’ll know you’re being curious when you’re not gathering
more information but looking at things with your mind AND with your heart, soul and intuition. This allows you to see with new eyes, and into places you haven’t looked before.
Imagine how it would feel to be undistracted by self-sabotaging talk, history, the opinions of others or anything else. Now imagine how it would be to go inside for the answers and really trust what you’re getting.
Just for now, instead of being judgmental, play with the concept of curiosity. You may love what you discover about yourself.
August 31st, 2007
How did it get to be August so fast? While we are still
enjoying the beautiful days of summer, we are already
planning for the fall months ahead.
Planning and Organizing our lives can sometimes feel
difficult, overwhelming and monotonous. Do you
sometimes not know what to do, so do nothing at all or over
analyze and get stuck spinning in your head? Neither
of these options seem to work very well.
I have been reading the book by Martha Stewart called
Martha Rules. In this book, she talks about getting a
telescope, a wide-angle lens, and a microscope. She is
talking about business of course but I love how it can
be used when looking at your life. She explains how the
telescope allows you to see the big idea or vision, the
microscope allows you to see the details and the
wide angle allows you to be flexible enough to zoom in or out
as you grow and shift in your life.
This theory is closely related to a principle that I learned in Healing
From the Core, called Acknowledging and Widening your
perceptual lens. This will allow you to see more clearly, release
your expectations and open more fully to life giving you more
possibilities.
“If I continue to believe as I have always believed,
I will continue to act as I have always acted.
If I continue to act as I have always acted,
I will continue to get what I have always gotten.”
(Anonymous)
So next time you are stuck, overanalyzing, regrouping or relooking
at your life, I invite you take out your camera bag and look at it with
all different lenses and to see what is available to you from different
angles and perspectives.
August 6th, 2007
July 6th is my birthday. I mention this not
because I want a card or a gift, but to share
with you a gift of awareness I recently received.
I work with a professional coach. When I met my
business goals a few months back, she asked me
what I did to celebrate. “Celebrate?” I thought
with surprise. And then it hit me. If I don’t
celebrate myself, who will?
So I took some time to pat myself on the back by
doing something I’ve always wanted to do. I hired
a personal trainer to work with me a few weeks and
set me up on a organized fitness routine.
It felt so good. It changed my perspective and
gave me the freedom to appreciate being ME.
The bonus was that I felt even freer to set new
goals that inspire me forward. Now I’m even more
excited about meeting them. I can’t wait to see
what fun I have in store for myself when I get
there!
In the meantime, I celebrated my 37th birthday by
inviting some friends to
Kensington
Park for the
morning. We rode our bikes and enjoyed a picnic
together. It was a wonderful day.
As the icing on the cake, I received this poem
from a dear client of mine. As you read it,
please put yourself in the picture. Because no
one deserves to be celebrated more than YOU.
I CELEBRATE ME
I am worth celebrating. I am worth everything. I
am unique. In the whole world, there is only one
me. There is only one person with my talents,
experience, gifts. No one may take my place.
God created only one me, precious in His sight. I
have immense potential to love, care, create,
grow, sacrifice, if I believe in myself.
It doesn’t matter my age, or color, or whether my
parents or someone else loved me or not. (Maybe
they wanted to but couldn’t.)
It doesn’t matter what I have been, the things
I’ve done, mistakes I’ve made, people I’ve hurt.
I am forgiven.
I am accepted. I am okay. I am loved in spite of
everything. So I love myself and nourish seeds
within me.
I celebrate me. I begin now, start anew, I give
myself a new birth today. I am me, and that is
all I need to be.
Today is a new beginning, a new life, given
freely. So I celebrate the miracle; and I
celebrate me.
July 1st, 2007
I often get people canceling their appointments at the last
minute because “they are too stressed to come in.” I find
a lot of humor in this because that is the exact reason you
are coming to see me — to reduce your stress! And now is
the absolute perfect time to see how well CranioSacral
therapy can help you do this.
Let me give you a little anatomy lesson and the reason you
should not cancel your appointment!
Your nervous system has two parts to it: the parasympathetic
branch, which is for rest and digestion, and the sympathetic
branch, which is that “fight or flight” part of the brain.
set the sympathetic off, and that is what is supposed to happen.
The sympathetic branch is the protective part of the brain, which
will save your life in a crisis.
However, what tends to happen is that the sympathetic part
gets revved up and does not come back to the neutral point,
so to speak. Instead we have more stress and it gets revved
up higher and higher without resetting.
When this happens, stress chemicals keep getting sent to the
brain, heart, lungs, stomach, intestines, liver and adrenals.
This keeps your body in a high state of alert, which increases
the occurrence of stress-related diseases and more rapid aging.
CranioSacral therapy helps reset the nervous system and
unwind stress from your tissues!
It also helps you reconnect to yourself so you can get a clearer
picture of why you are so stressed, and how you can deal with
it better in the present and the future. Many life-changing “aha”
moments happen on the table!
So next time you are “too stressed to come in,” I invite you to
just come in anyway. It might be just what you need to reconnect,
regroup and rejuvenate!
June 6th, 2007
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